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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25731475">Missing Half</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/gh0st1nn1t/pseuds/gh0st1nn1t'>gh0st1nn1t</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Umbrella Academy (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>A lot - Freeform, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Ben Is DEAD Dead, Diego Hargreeves is Bad at Feelings, Gen, Good Sibling Luther Hargreeves, Grief/Mourning, Hurt Klaus Hargreeves, I'm Sorry, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Klaus misses Ben, Like, Protective Allison Hargreeves, Tags Are Hard, The Others Try To Be Good Siblings, The Umbrella Academy (TV) Season 2 Spoilers, They all need hugs, Vanya Hargreeves Feels Guilty, but its not sad either, its not happy, literally just angst, set after season two</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:21:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,550</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25731475</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/gh0st1nn1t/pseuds/gh0st1nn1t</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>One Klaus had heard the news about Ben fully dying, he had no time to process it, as they were mid-apocalypse, for the second time in his life. Then they had returned home, and everything was okay. Everyone was okay.</p><p>Except Klaus.</p><p>He had spent 13 entire years with Ben glued to his side, making commentary on everything he did, or just sat beside him chatting. But then Ben had sacrificed himself, and Klaus didn't know what to do. Ben basically made up half of Klaus, and with him gone, Klaus felt empty.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ben Hargreeves &amp; Klaus Hargreeves, That Means Platonic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>227</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Missing Half</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is literally just a fic about Klaus dealing with Ben's death.</p><p>Any possible content warnings will be below, if i miss any, please tell me!!!<br/>-Quitting Addictions Cold-Turkey<br/>-Mentions of Vomiting<br/>-Ben's death<br/>-Grieving<br/>-Klaus falls into a severe depressed state<br/>-Mentions of Therapists (Both psychologists and speech therapists)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Klaus had been worrying everyone since they had averted the second apocalypse. That was uncommon; Klaus rarely let his emotions show to the point his siblings would actually be concerned. But, then again, Klaus had no energy to hide his emotions, so it wasn't hard to worry about him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hadn't left his room at all since they got back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was a </span>
  <em>
    <span>month</span>
  </em>
  <span> ago.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't even step one foot out of the doorway the entire time they had been back. The tiny bathroom connected to his bedroom was the only other room Klaus went in. Other than that, he simply laid on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Vanya broke the news to him, she had also told him what Ben confessed.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"It wasn't you that made me stay. I was too scared to go into the light."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Those words echoed in his head as he sunk into his blankets, long, knotted, greasy hair sprawled over his pillow. His hands were folded over his stomach, as if trying to press down his feelings, or keep down the vomit, either one. The metal dog tags were tucked beneath his shirt, the freezing material cold against his chest. Klaus didn't even notice. Everything to him felt cold. He wore a loose button up shirt he hadn't changed for at least two weeks beneath one of Ben's old hoodies.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wouldn't move, spending the entire day either just laying there, drowning in his thoughts, listening to the screams and wails of the ghosts around him, or he spent the day sleeping, before waking up in a cold sweat as he imagined how Ben died. Both times.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He rarely ate, or showered, or did anything people were supposed to do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't even have the energy to fill a cup of water, which was why Luther kept gingerly bringing him water bottles, offering to talk about it if Klaus was up to it. Klaus wouldn't even reply, not even a nod or a hum. Luther wasn't sure Klaus even knew he was there most of the time, because he never reacted to his words. Luther would try and talk to him, even if it was just about something insignificant, like Grace making salad for dinner. Once he realised Klaus wouldn't reply, he would up and leave, sighing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Diego had been taking over for Grace, and he brought up snacks for Klaus, which were often returned untouched. He knew forcing Klaus to eat wouldn't help. He would pick around the plate, taking a few bites before discarding it onto his nightstand, leaving it for Diego to grab and return to the kitchen. Diego had never been so worried for his brother. He knew Klaus had a small appetite, being homeless and struggling for food often made your appetite small, but he still knew Klaus' behaviour was off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Allison came in often, bringing makeup and nail polish with her, offering to try and cheer up Klaus with items he would usually grin at. Instead, he would roll over, facing the wall, leaving Allison to stand helplessly. She would try to talk, try to gossip, try anything she could think of. To be honest, she didn't think it would work at all, but she still held out hope, fingers crossed in her lap. But he didn't respond, merely avoiding her eyes. Her shoulders would slump and she would walk out, frowning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Five had even tried too. He had absolutely no clue how to handle his own feelings, let alone his addict brothers. He'd brought up Klaus' time travel, hoping for any kind of response. That hadn't gone down well, as Klaus had frowned (which was about as much of a reaction as he ever gave) and buried his face in the pillow. His shoulders slumped. He'd lived for 60 years, yet he couldn't even convince his brother to look at him. Five would walk out, leaving the door just slightly open in an attempt to get Klaus to stand up and close it. It never worked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vanya visited the most out of all of them. She cried most times, apologising profusely for Ben's death. He had died sacrificing himself for her, and she blamed herself more than anything. Seeing Klaus' state, she held off her visits for as long as possible. For the first week, Klaus didn't see Vanya at all, then she began visiting daily, occasionally twice a day. She brought in her violin, trying to calm Klaus with her music, which had seemed to work slightly. He would meet her eyes, nod, and then go back to staring at the ceiling blankly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It worried everyone in the house.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even Grace would walk in, asking if Klaus needed anything. She would stand there for ages, before spinning around and walking back out. She tried to hand him his knitting kit, tried to ask him if he wanted his music on, anything. He would never respond.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Klaus knew it was worrying everyone, but his stomach felt empty and his head would ache and he couldn't find it in himself to care. Well, that wasn’t true, he felt guilt running through his veins, and vomit rising in his throat when he saw yet another dejected expression on one of his siblings faces. But he tried to pretend it wasn’t there, in hopes that it would disappear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had memorised the pattern of his ceiling by the second week, each and every small crack, every dent, every flaking patch of paint. The fairy lights that he strung up around his room would faintly illuminate his surroundings, but Klaus couldn’t find it in himself to want them on, and he lacked the energy to stand up and turn them off, so he settled for facing the wall or hiding beneath a blanket.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Klaus doubted if his voice even worked properly, since he hadn’t used it in just over a month, not even accidentally. His legs were wobbly and weak when he stumbled to the bathroom. He felt hopeless without Ben.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt as if his siblings were judging him for being a drama queen, but he couldn’t help how weak he felt alone. Well, not alone, the ghosts he saw were filling the room, sobbing and wailing for help. He didn’t even have the energy for drugs, or alcohol, so he went cold turkey, completely dropping both addictions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had been rough, and Klaus doubted if it would ever stop. He felt either frozen cold, or covered in sweat. His mouth felt dry at all times, and his tongue felt incredibly heavy in his mouth. The warmth from the blankets was either too much or not enough.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a month and a half in when Klaus finally sat up in his bed. He didn’t do anything else, but the feeling of his back against the headboard felt foreign to him after all that time simply laying down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luther had given him a smile. Diego had broken into tears. Allison beamed. Five bit his lip and nodded happily. Vanya began sobbing. Grace had told him how proud she was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was 3 weeks after that when he finally looked people in the eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luther had frozen before clapping him on the shoulder. Diego had grinned. Allison felt relief wash over her. Five had given him a proud half-smile. Vanya had felt happy tears slip down her cheeks. Grace had continued talking, but with a bigger smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was 3 months later that Klaus sat on the chair across the room, finally moving from his mountain of pillows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luther had finally told Klaus how proud he was. Diego had taken the seat beside him, chatting. Allison had brought a blanket over to drape around him. Five had nodded proudly, actually smiling. Vanya had to restrain herself from hugging him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was 4 and a half months in when Grace had suggested one of the siblings asking Klaus if he wanted to talk to a therapist. Vanya had taken up the job, and when Klaus gave her a soft nod, she barely held herself together until she got out the door, collapsing into happy sobs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had been an entire year since they had averted the apocalypse. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All six siblings had moved into the Umbrella Academy mansion, and it wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>just </span>
  </em>
  <span>for Klaus. Luther had agreed to try and see a therapist so he could express himself healthily. Diego had also seen a therapist, who helped him recover from Patch’s death. Allison gave up her career, not wanting to live in lies, and began fighting for custody of her daughter. Five had been content to stay at home all day, merely reading through their extensive library. Vanya had begun practicing her violin again, and she agreed to see her old therapist again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Klaus’ psychiatrist had </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually </span>
  </em>
  <span>helped, and 6 months after they had been hired, Klaus began roaming the house, actually leaving his room, occasionally needing assistance from the lack of walking he did. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had taken another 8 months for him to begin speaking. He needed a speech therapist, and they called Diego’s old one from when he was a kid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had never healed, the empty hole in Klaus’ chest that Ben left, but with his siblings, and with professional help, it had gotten less painful.</span>
</p>
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